Earth Day

Let’s all be nice to Earth today.  Let’s face it, Earth is hardier than most black tetras; it takes a beating but it really shouldn’t.  We live here, we should appreciate that it hasn’t swallowed us whole yet (those of us still living and breathing anyway, not the people buried underground for whom this argument is null and void).  Let’s ease up for today, allow its little Earth back-hairs to settle down into relaxed position, and give Earth a god damn break and we’ll all get … Continue reading

Checkin’ out!

That’s right, folks!  I’m moving right on off of this here Planet Earth.  You might say Mars ain’t no better, but it’s livable, they tell me, and it’s sure not inhabited like this wreck of an abomination of a garbage sphere is. Woman marries a building because she loves it Yep, time for me to move on.  I’d invite you all to come with, but I feel like that might wreck the experience of a fresh new (and red!) globe without people on it for … Continue reading

Going to Extremes

Highest elevation on Earth: Mount Everest – 8,850 m (29,035 ft) Lowest elevation on Earth: Dead Sea shore – −424 m (−1,391 ft) Hrm, well we’re not going to summit Mount Everest for our wedding, and we’re certainly not going to the dead world of biblical history.  How about North America? Highest elevation in North America: Denali (Mount McKinley) – 6,198 m (20,335 ft) Lowest elevation in North America: Death Valley, California – −86 m (−282 ft) [Source: Wikipedia -Extremes on Earth] Why is the lowest elevation always inclusive of death somehow? … Continue reading