douchebaggery

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Conflict, eh?

I’m having a bit of a moral dilemma.

It’s apparent that any time someone has yelled at me I’ve found them to be little more than a pathetic butt.

Mow

My issue is with my neighbours: They’re about 75% awful.  They have no respect for their anyone, in fact Miklos had to built a fence so that they wouldn’t hose their dogs’ urine and feces onto our house as they had been doing for what I imagine to be years prior. (They keep their dogs in a cage outside on the driveway, not in their yard for whatever reason.)  That is dealt with and done, thankfully, but we still have the issue of their little devils kicking and chucking balls at our house and running all over our yard and never using their own lawn; you know, kind of like their dogs. We’ll probably move after the wedding.  For now I need to know how to tell them politely but firmly “I have not had children yet for a reason, so please kick balls at/run all over your own property.”  I feel like these are the kind of people who, no matter what I say, will take offense and simply kick harder.

Is this at all possible?

If you’ve ever found yourself in a jam because somebody foolishly laminated a document that you needed, perhaps a clerk working for the government, or maybe just an office coworker (but probably the government clerk thing), you’ve probably felt like a sap. In some cases, renewing these documents can cost a whopping $65. Some might call this a retarded money grab that has no place in our society since we pay and file taxes and they should have records to affirm our existence in this country, especially since we renew drivers’ licenses every five years and plates every year, not to mention renewing our health cards regularly, all at their request-by-mail, but not me. I happen to think the government is quite justified, and I am planning on framing my new certificate, so long as that doesn’t void it in some way.
Now, (since I’ve been given a new flimsy sheet of paper that will probably rip in a month so that I’ll need to pay another $65 upon my return to Canada from vacationing in Hungary), I can test advice given to people wanting to remove lamination from thus-void (and valid alike) documents. Please partake in the removal of lamination from these documents for pleasure purposes only, as de-laminating something that has no value (e.g., an old document of some kind, deemed to be void by lamination) in Canada is likely punishable by some law drafted in the 1880s. They’ll probably hang you by your teeth from a power line or something.
I used this method:

How to remove a laminated document

Conclusions:
This method did not work for me upon experimentation on a useless, old document just now. The paper itself began to split in half at the edges (which in itself is amazing, since paper doesn’t generally seem to be splittable). Try it. If it does work for you, leave a comment letting me know how you did it. I tend to suck at ironing, so maybe that’s my deal.
Edit:
Ah so. It turns out that cold lamination is much more of a (as Miklos’s dad would say) “you fucked, buddy” situation, as they stick to the document itself and don’t just seal in the paper. Well, that is a shame. I’m moving to Japan.

The Sun Will Not Hug You, in Toronto

bad dream macabre

When will you stop acting like high school?

What happened? Did you get really bored of not being a catty douche? And expecting me to get up early so that you can roll your eyes at me in the comfort of your own home while you pretend you’re contributing to a project that’s been nearly finished by two other group members? That shows nerve, but not nerve enough to tell me what your problem actually is.

Make like those immigrants I told off the other week, and grow up.


Cokey & Methelusa Go To Town

why not attend Niagara College?

A couple of meth-heads came into the store today and, unbeknownst to me, yelled at some other cashiers in the store and a manager for fifteen minutes because they wouldn’t give cash for a return without a receipt. See, the reason we usually don’t refund returns without a receipt in cash is because the people who return such things have often stolen them. Especially when they’re returning razors or baby formula, which is pricey. Most often, as well, you’d have no reason to return either. We’re nice enough, most times, to refund the money to a gift card without hesitation, because I guess this way we get something out of it. Or, they just don’t get fast money for coke and it’s a bit of an irritant to the schemers.

Well.

This same couple of class-acts came to my line (on the other side of the store) and begged an old man to buy the gift card off them for a dollar or two less than it was worth. He was nice (naive) enough to do it, and they thanked him graciously, saying “Oh wonderful!! God bless you sir!”

I might be wrong, but I doubt God looks too fondly upon a couple of smackies bamboozling $30 cash off an elderly man in line at the local pharmacy so they can go shoot up in the gutter.

Also, today I again proved I am my father’s daughter by telling a tiny old woman that another girl at work pointed out must have earlier been eating pistachios that she’d been caught red-handed.

Ehhh you had to be there.