More and more I realize, I am a professional thief-babysitter. My job is to watch people try and steal and to stare them down and not directly state that they are stealing because that would be accusing them of what they are doing and for some reason that’s a faux-pas in the retail biz. [GETMETHEHELLOUT]
Despite this, it turns out I’m gradually becoming an adult after all.
Miklos and I are buying a house and adopting a child from Zimbabwe. Or so this junk mail tells me. Is it wrong to point out that soon after realizing the adorable picture they sent was inscribed with “This child, Lima, has already been adopted. Help others like her,” we shredded her photograph with great haste?
So the ‘buying a house’ part remains true. It’s only just now sinking in, the fact that we won’t be living here anymore. I can still live in a dreamy state for two (2) weeks or so, until we get the keys and then I spend all my off-time in the jacuzzi tub with several bottles of vino, soaking away in the foamy goodness of all of life’s newfound stressors. (New house is by an LCBO… life is improving significantly, if I’m actually that kind of person.) I’m also developing a mild cough which will escalate into an enormous, uncomfortable affair if it’s at all consistent with the rest of the week’s events. Hooray for adulthood, and hooray for the economy, and hooray that I get to vote for someone I don’t want to see running the country in just over a month. Good god y’all.