Hallowe’en. It’s not just for stupid babies anymore.

Miklos and I are hitting up the town as depression-era newsies. I can’t wait to get pictures. Since my gums are far too sensitive for (too much) candy these days, pictures are the sweetest part of Hallowe’en for me.

I’m having a cat dilemma. That dilemma is that Rico’s craving attention at 1-, 3-, and 5AM are driving me bat-shit bananas. I have never met a more annoying cat OR person than Rico. Yet I am obligated to love him. I would defend that cat’s stupidity to the death, even though the amount of proper sleep I’ve had in weeks is insufficient at best and akin to waking up 200+ times per night at worst. I’m not going to be publicly and specifically cruel here, but imagine a situation that only serves as a burden on your life yet you still have some strong emotional connection that prevents you from some kind of bathtub drowning incident.

I was already going to Hell, if there is one. All I’m saying is that one day before I have kids and subsequently live in a day-to-day haze due to 2-hour nightly naps between work and housework, I want to be able to enjoy SLEEP again. Please?

Here are things that do not work in this situation:

  • Locking cat out of room. (He only then begins to scratch under the door and the floor beneath the door.)
  • Placing higher threshold under the door to prevent gap that allows cat to scratch under it. (No idea WHAT he is scratching now, but I assure you he has found something and it is just as loud.)
  • Being extra adamant about clipping his nails so that he has less to scratch loudly at the door with. (Any nail is plenty nail.)
  • Leaving the door open. (This leads to a game of Ring Around the Rose-y, whereby he hops onto the bed at my feet, walks between us and then around my head and meows at the wall beside my face. Cool!)
  • Shooting the cat. (I love him. How could you even suggest that? You’re a disappointment of a friend.)
  • [This bullet left ’empty’ for effect.]
  • Squirting with water bottle mixed with 1/10 vinegar or just plain water. (He’s stupid. He still comes back.)
  • Attempts at sedation by catnip. (It just doesn’t work.)
  • Feeding him earlier.
  • Feeding him later.
  • Not feeding him definitely will NOT work, so don’t even think about it.
  • Playing with him extra throughout the day so he sleeps better at night. (He doesn’t care about the amount of affection he gets, he just wants to be awake all night and not alone.)

I am just plum out of ideas.

About Nik

Writer, occasional photographer, common street juggler. I enjoy cooking, crafting, a clean house, animals, and senses of humour. Oh yeah and being the mom of my boy John.

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